|
|
|
Can This Relationship Be Helped?
I have been counseling couples for 35 years. Quite often individuals come in for help wondering if it is really possible to save or improve their relationship. Perhaps their partner is totally uninterested in working on the relationship. Perhaps...
|
Give-And-Take: Recipe for Success in Marriage?
A woman once visited a counselor to ask a question about her marriage. I have a funny feeling that you might not be especially impressed with the answer she was given. All the same, I'll take my chances. I think my shoulders are broad enough....
The Secret To Success In Courtship And Marriage, Sex And Happiness (Part 2)
It seems much easier to fall in love than to stay in love. --DR. KAREN KAYSER. Would you want to marry in haste and repent at leisure? No, folk. May that not be your...
|
|
Single in a Couples' World
Advertising for St. Valentine’s Day seemed more relentless than ever this year. Everywhere I turned, I saw candy hearts or jewelry glistening in store displays. Radio announcers drummed the message home through constant promotions of dinner for...
|
|
|
"Uncontested Divorce; How Thinking About An Uncontested Divorce Figures Into Your Decision About Divorce"
An uncontested divorce is the most common type of divorce. An uncontested divorce is a divorce that occurs when there are no disagreements between spouses over divorce related issues like custody, finances, living arrangements, spousal support, child support, etc. An uncontested divorce can be an easy way for people to get divorced without the hassles of a legal struggle and undue wear and tear on emotions.
But, you may not be ready to seriously consider uncontested divorce if you're just thinking about it.
Thinking about an uncontested divorce can mean a variety of things from a psychological perspective...it could mean that you are really on the brink of divorce.
It could also mean that you're feeling frustrated and just want to end things as fast and quietly as possible. If this is the case, you may want to make sure that you aren't just being lazy and you should examine your reasons for divorce first before you go any further.
"Does it mean I am really ready for divorce just because I am starting to think about an uncontested divorce?"
Maybe, maybe not.
Here's a few things you might want to think about before going onto next steps with regards to an uncontested divorce, just to make sure that you're really ready to go through with it.
Uncontested divorce situation 1:
You're thinking about an uncontested divorce because you want out but you aren't sure if your spouse is ready to call it quits.
This can be tough if you aren't careful. The main point of an uncontested divorce is to have both parties agree on things. If your spouse doesn't even know that you're thinking about getting a divorce, mentioning an uncontested divorce may result in an explosive discussion.
Uncontested divorce situation 2:
You've both agreed that you'd like a divorce, but haven't really clearly defined why, you just know you both feel ending the marriage is best.
Maybe there's a chance to make your marriage work! Don't be too hasty. If you can't clearly define why you and your spouse want to end your marriage, you're acting on emotion rather than a healthy combination of emotion and logic. Sit down, think it through and have a detailed discussion around all of the details.
But, be careful...this can be a volatile situation if you
haven't talked everything through and mutually agreed on how you'll actually implement your divorce decision to have an uncontested divorce.
If one of you is more demonstrative than the other or is usually the person who drives the decisions, that sense of control may carry over into the discussion of the terms of the uncontested divorce.
Uncontested divorce situation 3:
You both agreed that you'd like a divorce (and you both know why), and you've successfully talked about and agreed on all of the details regarding the uncontested divorce.
Although it can be a sad situation most of the time, sometimes a divorce is actually a good thing unfortunately. If you and your spouse have amicably decided to part ways and can continue on as responsible happy adults, then an uncontested divorce can be an easy way to sever the relationship and all legal obligations. This is the best situation to be in if you're looking for an uncontested divorce...it should be simple to finish from this point.
Lots of people think about uncontested divorces and never go through with getting one because they actually work things out...and that's a great thing! And, some people think they want an uncontested divorce but haven't agreed on the details and terms, they're just looking for the fastest way to end the marriage. If this is the case, the relationship can turn from being amicable (and each party thinking they want a divorce) to being nasty and a resulting tug of war ensues with each person striving to get what they feel they deserve out of the divorce...and this can lead to a drawn out negotiation which certainly is not an uncontested divorce.
Be smart when you're considering an uncontested divorce...make sure that you're really ready to go through with it. Don't let the term 'uncontested' fool you, an attorney can ethically and legally on represent one of the married parties. But, if you and your spouse can truly be amicable and truthful, an uncontested divorce can be easy.
© Karl Augustine, 2005
"A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce"
An eBook recommended by marriage counselors and relationship coaches to their clients.
Deciding on Divorce
Uncontested Divorce
|
|
|
|
|
|
